by Angela
I thought about blogging about the Slut Walk that is taking place in Dallas tomorrow because it’s important. And because I know how to be a feminist. I know the chants, I have the t-shirts, I am on all of the email lists, and most importantly I am passionate about ALL human rights, but especially the ones that pertain to me specifically. Writing about and being a feminist is easy for me because I was given a simple and direct path to becoming one. You read Manifesta (and many, many other books), join the Feminist Majority Leadership group at your University, participate for 4 (ahem, 6 for me) years and when you graduate the FMF will keep tabs on you informed until you tell them not to.
But writing about the SW would be taking the easy road for me. When I started blogging for Queerious last week I found myself struggling to come up with something to write about from my queer perspective. Because I don’t feel like I have one. Other than being physically and emotionally attracted to women I have no idea how to be gay. Also, the Huffington Post wrote a wonderful article about the Slut Walks so there isn’t really any new ground to cover there.
How do we learn to be gay? From TV? From gay bars? When I sit around with my peer group of lesbians (who all came out about a decade before I did) and they start talking about “Tipping the Velvet”, “Bound”, and “Go Fish” I’m lost. I grew up in a tiny Texas town. We had two lesbians (that I knew of). A divorcée teacher and a tennis coach (my tennis coach actually). They went to church with everyone else, raised five seriously exceptional children (from the divorcée’s previous marriage, she had joint custody with their father) and were just like everyone else in town, God-fearin’, football lovin’, Texans. So when I started the coming out process I thought back to the first lesbians I ever knew and figured that there wasn’t really all that much to know. You just lived your life and didn’t really talk about it. Because despite living together they never openly said they were gay. I didn’t know anything about the Stonewall riots, Harvey Milk, Del and Phyllis, and I didn’t have anyone lining up to teach me. I asked my lesbian network how they all came to share this cultural intelligence and one by one they all said, their “gay big sister”. A lesbian (or gay man if you’re a baby gay) who takes you under their wing and guides you from baby dykedom to capital D Dykedom. And I was so sad that I never had one.
Now that you can literally google “how to be gay” these gay mentors may no longer be necessary. I can only hope that the younger gay generations are studying up on their queer history in between Ke$ha downloads. How our culture and our history are shared isn’t nearly as important; what’s important is that it is shared. What do you think is quintessential in our queer history?
P.S. There are also lots of satellite SlutWalks on the Slut Walk Toronto website. Check for a walk near you!
You know, all those ways that you are thinking about, are simply stereotypes. They are for people who don’t have much creativity or originality. So don’t worry about it, Angela. Otherwise, in a line from Quentin’s movie “The People I’ve Slept With”, you’d become “a gay cliche”. Btw, I hadn’t heard of SlutWalks until reading this post.
I’m definitely grateful that I became who I am the way that I did. I do think learning queer history is as important as learning African American history or any minority group’s history. I’m curious as to whether or not there is a “definitive” history book or film. A sort of Queer 101 out there. The Slut Walk is new this year but its message is similar to Take Back the Night.
This is interesting, and something I, as a whiteboy breeder, have never thought much about. As any “minority group” becomes less fringe and more commonly accepted as part of society, there is bound to be a feeling of loss for the individuality that made that group unique. I think history shows us that in order to for those groups to become integrated into society fully, assimilation requires letting go of some of the less socially acceptable aspects of the minority group’s culture. For example, Mitt Romney would not likely be a presidential candidate if the LDS church still openly espoused polygamy. Other cultures lose their language or change their style of dress. It sounds sad, but there is something to be said for becoming a part of the world around you. I guess what I’m saying is, get used to it. We’re all homogenizing, and that means forgetting some of the things that made our groups different. But that’s an opportunity to find what makes us unique as individuals.
Also, you’d look terrible in cargo shorts.
I was wondering about the same thing when I read that “public schools in California would be required to incorporate the history of homosexuals into social studies classes if the state Assembly and Gov. Jerry Brown embrace a plan approved by the Senate.”
What constitutes gay history? It would definitely be interesting to see what kind of curriculum they would come up with!
“Chapter 10: Ellen Coming Out on Primetime TV”?
Great post!
I feel like I failed you :( Had I know you didn’t know the lesbian cannon I would have made you sit in our office and watch every movie and read every book. I guess we were just too busy making history ourselves.
One of the most interesting experiences I have ever had was taking Gay & Lesbian Politics at UTDallas as a junior (a decade ago OMFoldassG) and realizing that by that time I not only new the stops on the GAY train, but I knew exactly where to jump on. Much the way I know that if you start watching Buffy at “Hush” or if you find Tori at “Under the Pink” you can become a fan, I knew my way into gay history (Hint: the way in is the way out and in and out and in and out i.e. SEXZ). As a gay guy, my stop on the GAY train (through Chelsea), was exactly at the point where titillation met home video in Whitney, TX. I followed my hard-on into a deep, deep knowledge of gay history – starting at Jeffrey and going through Derek Jarman. I knew Michelangelo was gay before I knew who Ellen was. But the really interesting thing about that G&L Pol class was this: I was the only one who knew the history … I still don’t know what to think about it.